He ditched me and he pushed me?

Last night, my husband and I had a cocktail party. He invited his ex gf to the party. We had a dance floor at our party. So they went to dance, and his ex starts saying: wow tiger you are such a good dancer! Growl! And starts to stroke the back of his neck! URRGH! Can you believe her? I pulled them away from the dance floor and started yelling at her, she then had to leave. After the party my husband started hugging me and kissing me and I was like leave me alone! And then he said I love you. Me: first you flirt with her AND dance with her and now you love me? And I loose control and start throwing spoons at him! He then grabs my arms and pushes me (hard)onto the sofa and yells KNOCK IT OFF!!!! That nite I made him sleep on the sofa.This morning he left to work without saying anything and later that day I get a tropical flower bouqet, a plane ticket, and a note saying meet me in Hawaii. He was planning this for a month and I did'nt no! Should I forgive him and meet him in Hawaii?Should
He ditched me and he pushed me?
Well it sounds like she was pushing herself on him. It does sound like he messed up, but do you think they are sleeping with each other? If they are then ya maybe you shouldn't forgive him, but if it was just what you wrote about, I would forgive him.
Reply:Sounds like he was just trying to get you to stop throwing things at him....he probably did not mean to push you as hard as he did......

and throwing things at your husband is not the way to handle

a nasty skank comming on to him,,, she should not have even been there,, when you start mixing alcohol an dancing with exes, expect trouble to happen!!

Keep your eyes open when it comes to her, but learn to handle it in a more dignified manner..you sound like you have anger management problems.....I suggest you go to Hawaii, forgive him for that incident but have a little heart to heart and tell him to CUT ALL TIES with her...

She is definately out to ruin your marriage!!!
Reply:he must have gotten carried away for a short time while dancing with his ex. however, he must have soon realized the situation and came to his senses. concerning the aftermath, i think you should forgive him and rest assured this won't happen again, judging by his acts. have a good time in Hawaii
Reply:Send him divorce papers instead. He had no business inviting an ex girlfriend to a dance and then to push you like that?? Refuse to put up with that ****.
Reply:Yes, apologize and take the trip to hawaii with him and forget about what happened. I understand you're upset about what happened and all. But, first off, why was his ex there? And secondly, why are they dancing together and she not respecting you, in your house, enough to leave her hands off him?



So, get on that plane and forget it all happened.
Reply:I think it was childish of him to act like that and I certainly can understand why you were upset. You should not throw things and he should not throw you on the couch. That is a good way to get arrested for assault. But you did have the right to be upset about his flirtatiousness and the fact his ex was way out of line! I agree there with ya.



In the mean time, the Hawaii trip had nothing to do with how he behaved...a separate issue. But if I were you, I would meet him in Hawaii, but while you are alone with him on that beach (yeah, my wife and I go quit oftten to Hawaii)...on a stary night, and a mi-tai or two under your belt, I would tell him in a calm but serious manner...that he hurt your feelings and you never expect to see him do that kind of thing again.



So go to Hawaii, have a great time, but do have the discussion with him.
Reply:A man will always love his woman no matter what. He will flirt cheat and do many other physical things but nothing emotional. He will lose his love for you. Now what you need to do is to look back at last night and think of the things you did that may have not been appropriate? We have a saying where i come from and that is you can not CLAP with one hand. Good luck and have fun on your vacation..
Reply:forgive him. he didnt go after the girl and ditch u after the party, so obviously, he loves u more.
Reply:Not that big of a deal. You should go.



It shows a lot of effort that he got you flowers, a plane ticket, and a note.



The whole pushing thing, I guess he was trying to defend him self.



No one wents spoons to be thrown at them.. dirty or not.



I don't think it was a big deal with the ex. It was all her, not him. It was just a dance :P.
Reply:time to start marriage rules, and share each others expectations.



it is your house, your man and either they shared a special relationship. and now it is respectful??? or she shouldn't have even been there



call your hubby, talk with him and go to hawaii



you were wrong for throwing spoons only, and allowing her to come

he was wrong for asking her to come, dancing with her, and allowing the behavior, and pushing you.



u 2 need to discuss house rules, expectations, friendships and cocktail party rules, dancing rules... etc...



make sure the ticket to hawaii is round trip
Reply:Take the trip and apologize. Marriage is about comprimise...you're not always right, and neither is he. You're probably both slightly wrong, but what happens after is what matters.



Say yes to the trip, and sorry to him, and those 3 other words.
Reply:YOU PROVOKED HIM, you should had said sorry. He didn't have a right to his hands on you and you didn't have the right to try and poke his eyes out. Go on the trip, it'll probably be your last....then divorce if you can't control your temper. Why did HE have to sleep on the couch, you are already their?
Reply:Ohhhh what a sweet surprise. Seems like he is over what happened the night before.



Go for it you have nothing to lose - enjoy Hawaii.



His ex just wanted to make a scene and get attention!

Men may flirt with women like that but they sure do not marry them!



You probably made him melt when you showed that you where jealous - thats why he said "i love you".
Reply:first off, you let him invite his ex there. If you felt uncomfortable about it then you definately should have said something to him before the invitations went out! What his ex did was innapropriet. However, He only danced with her, it's not like he slept with her right there and then. So all in all, you're getting upset over something quite minimal.



The hawaii invite was romantic and incredibly thoughtful. But before you board the plane, you need to call him and have a "talk" Tell him how you felt but first and foremost apoligies for throwing spoons and utensils at him. He definately DID NOT deserve that. That was incredibly childish of you, if you have a problem with it you should talk about it not try to physically harm the person. This is your husband, not some kid on the playground. Just tell him you felt disrespected, and have a talk. If you meet him in hawaii with bad feelings the whole trip is going to be a flop. Talk before boarding that plane!
Reply:you better meet him in Hawaii..we do not know, he has a plan to marry you... maybe he prepare a romantic dinner for the two of you... do not hesitate to go in Hawaii...
Reply:yes, you were totally wrong. I agree with what everyone else is saying. you should apologize to him for acting like that and just enjoy your vacation to Hawaii. Hopefully you will stop acting like that so you will have a better marriage. My only suggestion to you husband would be to tell the ex to get out of his life. He has a great wife and his ex-gf is going to cause problems if she sticks around. Once she is out of the picture, you should be happier.